


Saudade

by MachineQueen



Category: Tales of the Abyss
Genre: Angst, Asch being tsundere, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 11:06:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10592727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MachineQueen/pseuds/MachineQueen
Summary: Saudade- a Portuguese term for a feeling of longing, melancholy or nostalgiaSet after Ortion Cavern.Natalia tries to heal Asch's wounds.





	

The sky was dark over the deck of the Tartarus. Asch had hoped the cool sea air would help clear his mind. He needed to remember what he was trying to do, replica be damned. 

“You-you’re hurt!”

Asch started. He liked to think he was a difficult person to sneak up on but Princess Natalia had done it with ease. And what’s more, she had hold of his arm, by the wrist no less. Her touch was both familiar and foreign and the strange mixture made him feel nauseous.

“Don’t touch me!” he snapped. 

Natalia let him go. Hurt flickered in her eyes. He should say, ‘I’m sorry I shouted,’ or ‘You surprised me,’ or something along those lines but he can’t seem to organise his words right. They were stuck somewhere between his mind and his mouth and so he said nothing.

“If you’re injured, you should let me heal you,” said Natalia.

She’d noticed a deep gash down his left arm, bad enough to leave his uniform torn. Asch had no memory of receiving the wound but he guessed it was from the monsters inside Ortion Cavern. The wound did look pretty disgusting, partly charred and partly slimy.

“It’s nothing, I’m fine,” he lied. 

Natalia set her jaw. She didn’t look like she was going to let him get away. Asch ‘hmph’-ed in annoyance. There weren’t many hiding places on the Tartarus. 

And OK, Asch wasn’t fine. He’d spent the past couple of days with itchy feet and a wandering mind. Maybe because of his link with the replica or maybe because he’d had both Natalia and Guy nipping at his heels, reminding him of what he’d lost. It was making it difficult to keep his focus on the mission; stop Van. 

Natalia looked at him beseechingly. Guy may have gone back to the replica but Natalia seemed like she’d be harder to get rid of.

(Asch tried and failed to ignore the part of him that was secretly pleased.)

It would be a while before they reached Baticul...

“Whatever. If you’re not too tired, then I guess it would be better if you healed me.”

XxX

Natalia complained bitterly about the meagre medical supplies left in the Tartarus infirmary, which had definitely seen better days. She rifled through drawers and cabinets so quickly that Asch began to feel useless sitting around and began to do the same, though he had no idea what she was looking for. Asch really should have known this ‘let me heal you’ thing wouldn’t just be a three second arte casting. Eventually he found some rusty scissors and a box of bandages in a cupboard he could only just reach.

“Perfect,” said Natalia. 

“Just cast Heal already,” he said, but it had no bite to it. Maybe he was enjoying the fuss she was making more than he’d care to admit.

“Proper healing takes time,” said Natalia primly. “Sit.”

He sat on what must have been one of the flimsiest chairs known to man and offered Natalia his arm. This time, he was going to behave like a reasonable human being and not shout at someone who was only trying to help him. 

Natalia accepted his arm and then immediately began hacking at the remains of his left sleeve with the blunt scissors.

“Wh-what are you doing…?” spluttered Asch.

“How am I going to see what I’m doing with the material in the way?” she said. “It’s ruined, so it hardly matters.”

“Well, it’s definitely ruined now,” said Asch as she deftly peeled away the last few rags of fabric.

Natalia made an ‘ouch’ face when she saw the full extent of the wound. She ran her finger delicately along the length of it, down his upper arm and across to his elbow. Asch shivered. Under her breath, Natalia softly began to speak the incantation for one of her healing artes. 

There was blue light, so bright that Asch had to look away. When it cleared and Asch looked back, his wound had closed up and it was back to a healthy natural fleshy tone instead of the stark red, white and black of before. 

Natalia, satisfied with her handiwork, ran her finger across his arm again. This time, though, she didn’t stop. She smoothed a path down to his wrist and then laced her fingers in his like it was a perfectly natural thing to do. And maybe once, it would have been. Without thinking, like his body was remembering without him, he reached for her. 

“I missed you,” she said, very softly.

Bitterness still filled him. Asch tugged his hand away from her. Those three words had hurt him far more than the wound had. To his shame, he could feel tears pricking his eyes but he grit his teeth and turned his head. 

“Don’t lie to me. You didn’t even know I was gone. You had the replica.”

“But he doesn’t have the same memories. He doesn’t remember me the way you do. That’s what I miss.”

_I missed you too._

But Asch can’t say it. He can only give her silence. Later he’ll try to convince himself he was only being cruel to be kind. After all, however much he may want to, he can’t stay with Natalia. That is no longer his right.

Natalia sighed. “Both you and Luke are very dear to me in different ways,” she said. “But I can see already that you don’t understand.”

Natalia was right, he didn’t understand anything. The only thing he was certain he felt was hurt. However, he felt no inclination to start shouting again. Natalia was trying so hard to be kind, even though she didn’t really need him anymore now she had the replica.

“...Thanks for healing me.”

Asch got up to go and Natalia rose with him. 

“Please take care of yourself, Asch,” she said. 

“Don’t waste time worrying about me,” he retorted. “Worry about yourself. No more wandering up to dangerous enemies unarmed or falling over rubble or-”

“Oh my. It sounds like you’re going to be the one worrying,” she said. 

“Sh-shut up. Just don’t be so clumsy, alright?”

When they got to Baticul, Asch offered a gruff goodbye when they went their separate ways. Still, Asch dared to hope that he wouldn’t have to wait too long before they met again. Maybe by then he’d have unknotted his feelings into something he could communicate.

**Author's Note:**

> (Minor spoilers)  
> I finished the game yesterday and wanted more Natalia/Asch.  
> That said, Tear's 'I love you' has got to be one of the saddest things I've ever heard in a video game :'(


End file.
